The Age reports that a Victorian court has allowed a gay man to adopt his foster child, a first in Victoria:
A judge has allowed a gay man to adopt his foster child in what is believed to be a first for Victoria.
The man, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, is in a gay relationship but has adopted the child by himself to comply with Victorian laws that make it illegal for gay couples to adopt a child together.
…
The 11-year-old boy told The Sunday Age he was overjoyed at the decision.
‘I’m really glad that I’m adopted. They always play with me and they do fun activities with me like going to the park and watching me play footy. It’s a really good thing.”
One of the men had to choose to be the adoptive parent because Victorian law does not allow gay couples to adopt jointly.
Apparently when the men first fostered the boy, they thought he had a speech impediment but then realised that his speech difficulties arose through neglect. He is now thriving under their care (oh dear, I’m getting teary here).
I am really glad that the court allowed one man to adopt the child. I only wish that they’d allowed both men to adopt (NSW has just passed legislation which allows this). Clearly the boy is much happier and better off living with this couple.
I can’t help thinking of the controversial “tweet” by Wendy Francis, Family First’s lead candidate in the Queensland Senate, during the 2010 election campaign: “Children in homosexual relationships are subject to emotional abuse. Legitimising gay marriage is like legalising child abuse.”
Can anyone seriously tell me that this boy is subject to emotional abuse, or that he’s not vastly better off with his new adoptive parents? I really wonder if Francis has ever seen families where the parents are same-sex. I have a number of friends in same-sex relationships who have kids, and they are fantastic loving parents.
Indeed, when one looks at the moral objections to same-sex parenting, often the same critcisms can be applied to heterosexual parenting, and these objections just don’t stand up:
1. A child should not be brought up by parents of only one gender. This objection also applies to children of single parents, and children whose father or mother has died where the parent has not remarried.
2. It is problematic that often, only one parent in a same-sex relationship is genetically related to the child. This objection also applies to blended families, heterosexual adoptive families, and families where children have been conceived by egg or sperm donors. No one says that they can’t form loving relationships with a child who is not related to them.
3. It is problematic if neither of the parents are related to the child. Again, this applies to heterosexual adoptive families.
4. Break-ups and custody disputes can be very messy (see, for example, the custody battle between lesbian parents and gay parents in the news lately). Break-ups and custody disputes are messy in all families, regardless of the sexual orientation of the parents.
5. Children of same-sex parents might be teased by their peers. This is a very poor reason for preventing same-sex parenting, and a very sad indictment on our society. And hey, I didn’t desist from having red-headed children, even though I know that they are highly likely to be teased at some point by their peers.
Of course, not all same-sex parents are going to be great, just as not all heterosexual parents are great. But you have to judge parents on a case-by-case basis, not according to a blanket slur about sexual orientation. And the evidence is against the likes of Francis, anyway: as regular commenter Lorenzo says here, recent research indicates that the children of same-sex parents do just as well those of heterosexual parents, if not slightly better. Lorenzo also notes that the latter is probably accounted for by the ‘selection effect’: same-sex parents tend to be middle-class, well educated and economically secure, because they’d be unlikely to be able to take on the care of a child otherwise. Same-sex couples often have to jump through bureaucratic hoops which prove their worth and ability to be a good parent, or they have to expend considerable effort, dedication and financial resources so as to have a child.
Anyway, I applaud this case, and I wish this boy and his dads all the best.
